Good Morning!

Well I slept pretty good last night until about 3am I think….sometimes I lose track…all I know is when I need someone to come save me they are there in a flash! Sometimes even before I cry my Daddy can hear me rustling around and takes me to change my diaper before I EVEN HAVE TO ASK!! Usually Mama will hear Daddy changing my wet diaper and start to warm my Bobble!! Mmmm the Bobble (aka Bottle)….my friend. I’ll have to elaborate more on that later! For now I hope everyone has a great Monday and keeps their bottoms dry and bobbles full!!!

50 SHADES OF POOP

50 SHADES OF POOP

Ok don’t get me wrong I really enjoyed my time on the inside, it was warm and cozy and all I could hear was my mama singing while she fed me really good “big people food” through my unblicical cord…or something like that but what I’m really enjoying is being out here with all these amazing people and new stuff! I wasn’t really able to do much on the inside and towards the end it was downright crowded. I’m not sure who booked those accommodations but next time they should check with my grandma Coco cause she is the queen of vacation upgrades. I’m jus sayin’ IT GOT TIGHT IN THERE! But then BAM…here I am and can do allllll kinds of cool tricks (or so I thought)!

Like my poop….you wouldn’t believe the magical things I can do with some poop! When I first got shot out of my happy place, without warning might I add, all I could do was cry and I didn’t really dig that so much so I stopped that immediately. No way I’m returning to that gig! Everyone seems to like me a whole lot more when I smile and giggle anyhow! Note to self: Crying…not a good trick! But then…ohhhh then…I found my niche…POOP…yes I pooped for the first time ….((((just a boy and his poop))))…..and get this…IT WAS BLACK! Yeah, BLACK!!! You should have seen my parents faces…classic I tell ya’! Turns out I wasn’t much of a Houdini because the Dr said “ITS CALLED MECONIUM….ALLL NEWBORNS DO THAT!” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

I was like ‘Wow….thanks for stealing my thunder lady!’

But…that’s ok…cause lately…its all kinds of different shades! I guess cause my Dad’s a chef he relates it to food so we’ve had PEANUT BUTTER SURPRISE…totally normal! Split Pea Paradise…again…totally normal! Sometimes I hear my Dad say “Mama…we got a Chipotle bean dip!” Which doesn’t sound normal BUT totally is! Here I was thinking I was going to be an original…and failing!!!

And then it happened….I MASTERED…..wait for it…..THE     GAS     BOMB!!! Oh sure everyone thought it was reeeeeal cute in the hospital and giggled and laughed at my farts but man….now…I drop em and they don’t know what hit ‘em! Sometimes I do it in a store and blame my mom or dad…that’s awesome! I even dropped a few on some chefs at a party my mom took me to at my Daddy’s work! She literally got all the stuff to change my diaper, which my dad calls mise en place (weirdo!) …anyway Mama got me all the way to the bathroom with my cousin Madison, only to find NOTHIN!! I call that THE GHOST POOP! Thank God for Madison cause she thought she wanted to learn how to change a diaper and Chipotle Bean Dip would have been embarrassing! Why just the other day as my mama was telling my papa just how handsome I was, I dropped a lil bomb that made her eyes tear in the living room. My Papa in the kitchen poked his head in and said “I CAN SMELL THAT IN HERE!!!” Followed by “THAT’S MY BOY!!!” I strive to make my daddy proud! Sometimes I drop one right on his head and he says “Oh, You wanna play that game with me!? Well…when you get older we’re BOTH gonna play that game…OK!?!?!

….I’m not sure I like the sound of that!

Now back to my nap…

Sidenote: While we’re on the food/diaper subject….what the heck is a biegnet?? One day while my dad was powdering my junk after a good cleaning he said (in this really weird accent) “Paaaarmesan on the pizza!!” ~~~as he sprinkled that sweet sweet powder I love so much~~~ but my Mom turned to him and said (in an even weirder accent….) “Biiiiiiegneeets anyone!?!?!” and my dad lost it. So now…it is EVERYTIME  “Biiiiiiegneeets anyone!?!?!” {{{ROLL MY BABY EYES}}}

So…again, WHAT the F$%K is a Beignet!?!?