What do you think I’ll be when I grow up????
What do you think I’ll be when I grow up????
So….I know I know…I haven’t posted all weekend and YES I’m getting the “where the heck are you messages”?!?!?! And yes yes I’m sorry …I AM….but I have to be honest…it’s so so so hard to post when my daddy is here! Don’t get me wrong we spend every weekday morning together when he gets up at 3:30am to pat my butt with powder and feed me while watching the news and rapping about world affairs such as ‘what desserts we’re gonna make when I’m big enough’ and ‘what kind of toppings I’ll want on my sundae’ but shit just got REAL—–cause IM TALKING! No S#%T!!! I’m all about the conversations right now! Sure sure no one can really understand me but I like the way they pretend that they can! I’ll yell something like “YO WHAT DO YOU THINK IM GONNA BE WHEN I GROW UP??” And they’ll say something like “ohhh really, you don’t say?!?! Wait…what??? I asked a question..a real question. I mean..I don’t really know how to use your big people words yet but come on…you don’t have to pretend to understand!! Uncle TJ said “OHH REEEEEEALLY, I TOTALY AGREE” after I had said “Uncle Teeee… CAN I GET SOME MILK?” ….????? So wtf? What do you mean you totally agree, can I get some milk or not!!!
Go the F?!k to sleep
Ok! SO I had to go to my two month check up on Friday which went really well! It’s always nice to meet new people in the waiting room too. There are actually two waiting rooms at my pediatricians office, The Pediatric Alliance and I always get to hang out in the WELL ROOM with all the new babies! I met a lovely lil 5 week old girl today ….her name was Aiden…not half as cute as my new girls Aleena, Ella, Quinn or Skye…but pretty cute! She had a lot of hair! I wonder why I don’t have a lot of hair if I’m a boy and she’s a boy!?!?
reminds me of this little angel ELLA!!! I mean…look at this dol!?!? Perfect really! right!?!? Mommy and Ellas mommy Lynn went to high school together and love each other very much so we are instant friends! She was born a month before me….I like me some older women!
It was super cool until it fell out! YUP AMOST ALL OF IT! Like an old man!!! WTF is that all about??..My hair falling out?….I was brand spankin NEW!? Once again..the Dr’s said that was normal. Sighhh…Hated…but normal!!! How come cute little Ellas hair didn’t fall out??? NO FAIR! (although looking back, being her close friend and all….and her being a girl and stuff…I was glad it was me and not her!!! true story! We’re tight like that!)
Anyhow! We finally got called into Dr Wood-White after waiting a few minutes and the nurse immediately rips all my clothes off….the nerve of her…its like below zero in that place! i let her know I was unhappy with a little yelp! She kept saying “one more minute while I weigh you”….like this is some weight watchers meeting! Anyhow..I was 13.5 lbs…is that big for a baby????…. cause I don’t really care…I loooove my formula!!! Finally mama wrapped me in a little blanket so we could wait for the doctor! I took a nice long….pee…while we waited and Mama changed me immediately! I wear Pampers Swaddlers and they have this nifty little yellow stripe that turns blue when I pee so mama is on that S%$#T like white on rice I tell ya! SOMEONE WAS A GENIUS THAT CAME UP WITH THAT! I hope they got a raise!
ON a side note I TOTALLY WENT UP A DIAPER SIZE…SIZE 2 Yawwwwl!
I’m not really sure why but Mama practically cried when we found out I was now a size 2! And I’m not talking the Im-SO-Happy kind of tears! That woman…she needs to get a grip…all I’m gonna do is keep growing! DUh!!!
For those of you saying hory mory that’s a ton of diapers! First of all, we Bears like a good deal and SAMS CLUB which mind you, new babies out there, is this super fun palace where I get to ride around while EVERYONE smiles and says hi to me! I’m totally like ‘TAKE A PICTURE PEOPLE IT WOULD LAST LONGER’…hehe juuus kidding. I freaking eat it up! Anywho…they a had these bad boy box o’ 186 diapers for 34 bucks a piece when they are usually $40! I’m no 5th grader but I’m pretty sure thats 12 big ones in my mamas pocket! She loved that! Secondly, I go through them diapers like nobodies business! My Mom said that during the Olympics I was GOLD CHAMPION URINATOR! I was like “Whatever lady, have you seen the size of my bladder!?!” ((Sheesh…so much pressure for a newborn!))
I like those pampers wipes too, as you can see!! My hiney..is sooooo shiny ! !
Back to the Visit! So I got 100% on my new baby tests and stuff! My parents…boy were they proud! mama made a joke about me always looking to the right. mama thought it was because thats the way I wa sin the womb then, outta nowhere the Dr says “Actually, you might want to start swapping arms you hold and feed the baby in unless his head will be asymmetrical!!” I was like Whow, wait, what!?!? Isn’t that something you want to tell new parents like at the very FIRST VISIT!? Just saying! So yeah all you new parents make sure you swap what arms you hold us and feed us in cause our lil heads are soft and impressionable and will be lopsided if you don’t! Apparently I’m going to be ok! Thank Goodness, right!?!? I want a perfectly round head like DADDY! ! ! so far so good.
Overall the appointment went really well and I guess my cold will stick around for a while! Most babies have some congestion when they are newbies and what takes all you big people a week to get rid of will take us more like 3 weeks! I’m feeling much better though and mama makes sure my nose is clear and my hiney is dry…what a life I tell ya!?!?
Before I was born I could hear my parents talking about this business of swaddling. To tell you the truth..i didn’t know what the F%$K to think! My mom would say swaddle and my dad would say “oh the baby burrito!!!!” BABY BURRITO!!??! Were these people going to eat me!?!?That didn’t sound like much fun at all so I was a little cautious at first! But man oh man was I wrong to not INSTANTLY trust my parents….I looooved me some swaddling! My very first swaddle: day 1!
I have to admit that it didn’t hurt that my parents were like MASTER SWADDLERS by the time I arrived! They would lay around in their bed and watch you tube videos of babies being swaddled! Then they would practice on Mamas old cabbage kids! Brilliant!! Here is mamas favorite swaddling HOW-TO video that she found for Papa! This really helped them both:
That shooshing STILL GETS ME TO SLEEP!
here are some of my many happy swaddling moments for you to see:
and then I started to break out…mom and dad would call it the Houdini…whatever that means! I just felt like …’look Im almost 5 weeks old and I need a little space in my swaddle..a little breathing room!’ So I would “Houdini” my left arm out all the time! Like so:
Oh and one last thing….you cant swaddle a baby to put them in a car seat but I really liked this version of the swaddle that my mama came up with! It made me feel safe and warm and…well…swaddled!!!
Any blanket will really do for swaddling but I really really liked these ones my Grandma eva got me called Aden + Anais! Follow the link here to find the softest most comfy ones:
ok …well…NO REALLY! But I sure do have the movements down! When I’m old enough my daddy is going to teach me! He has all these crazy records that he calls GEMS…whatever that is! My mommy has records too but she is actually singing on them! That totally trumps Daddys GEMS! hehe! Crazy thing about my Mom and Dad is they met in 1998 for the first time when my Mommy was singing for this huge event in Miami called ENVY and daddy was catering her VIP dressing room for her and her dancers! Mama said there was food and drink and all kinds of stuff …like she was a real star! She sang for over 10,000 people that night with a few guys called Mike and Charlie that Daddy happen to know as well! After that night they didn’t see each other again until 2006 when their friend Ginger tried to set them up! When daddy finally took Mommy on their first date Daddy realized that Mommy was the singer he had met so many years earlier!! Crazy right!??! Its like that meant-to-be, fate kind of stuff! Daddy sometimes says “I CANT BELIEVE I MARRIED JAIME Z!!” That was Mamas singing name back then! Mama seems to get a kick out that when he says it! They pretty much are the most loviest people I’ve ever met…even though I haven’t met thaaaat many people..I still think they might the LOVIEST!
In case you didn’t get the ‘LE NAP / FIRE Z’ MISSILES’ pun in my last blog…here is the clip to the movie it is in! Can you say Huhhhhsterical!? I can! (well, not really, but I try everyday!)