Diaper Genie Etiquette

Im not here to make judgement or call anyone out but I’m a baby so I can say whatever the hell I want….

The Diaper Genie …..

IS AWESOME! LOL (gotcha)!

Seriously, that thing holds more poops then I’d ever imagine it could or would!  BUTT what you have to do with the diapers is an art-form….origami, if you will?! But before I get to that lets talk about the cleaning itself since some HAVE NO CLUE how do wipe my butt! After you open the tabs and unleash the fury you have to be quick and use the inside of the diaper to get some of the EXCESS TOXIC WASTE off my bum!! Then you fold the diaper down so I have a clear place to land and get ready for Aloe WIPEAGE! Use AS MANY WIPES as it takes to get that S^%T off me! I mean it….LITERALLY!  Once all is clear…put the wipes in the folded diaper and close it as tight as you possibly can! Heres a little demo to help you!!

Step 1: MAKE SURE POOP IS “INSIDE” THE FOLD!

STEP 2: ROLL IT SUPER TIGHT TOWARDS THE TABS! (careful poop doesnt shoot out of the sides…ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE on CHIPOTLE BEAN DIP DAYS (see 50 SHADES OF POOP Blog for more on that!)

YOU NOW HAVE A  S#$T BURRITO:

Whatever you do …DONT EAT IT!!

STEP 4: FOLD 1 TAB AS FAR AS YOU CAN DIAGONAL/OVER:

Use the velcro to secure it!

STEP 5: FOLD OTHER TAB IN SAME MANNER!

Look at that…A S!#T MEATBALL!!! hehe~

You now have yourself a nice little weapon of GAS DESTRUCTION! BE VERY VERY CAREFUL! THrow it in the Diaper Genie like so:

Let go of pedal and VOIIIILAAAA, like Magic that $HIT is GONE!!!

DONT: KEEP THAT LID OPEN TOOO LONG!

DO: USE ARM AND HAMMER BAKING SODA FROM DAY1!!!

At first my parents made the mistake of throwing ALL THE DIAPERS in there! I kept telling my mom…MY PEE DON’T STINK MOM…MY POOPS DO! (aaand how…Award winning stank) So we would blow through the diaper genie replacement bags! She finally smartened up and took Papas advice and bought a backup can for the pees and saved the almighty Diaper Genie for my Almighty S%$T bags! And man has that saved some time and MONEY! ! !

So here’s the set up….Diaper Genie to keep all my stinks captive on the left and our non toxic pail on the right!! Works like a charm!!! The whole set up is pretty fantasticle:

<<—official A$$WIPE station!

Pretty nifty huh!?!? And yes that’s my uber cool name art on the wall that my mama designed at her Saturday Morning Ybor City market…so fun!!! She used to walk around there when she was very very prego with me and get all kinds of attention! The vendors with the name art were so friendly, Mama went back twice and got my whole name! They have numerous photos of each letter and you pick n’ match em up! Guncle Zac has one too!! The vendors really thought the Mama did an awesome job ..check it out:

SUCH FUN! And they totally said they wanted to meet me after I hatched!

Note to self: Get Mama and Papa to take me to market! ! !

Now accepting Diaper Genie questions and concerns:

EDITORS NOTE:

bwaaaahhahahahhaaaa…..My mama and papa are so funny..they had the refill in upside down in the pic up there..nowonder it was stinky….there was a diaper but no GENIE about it! tetteehhehee!! here is a pic of what it should actually look like:

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